‘Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.’ 1 Peter 3:1
I looked around the sanctuary and felt the familiar pang of jealousy. Couples were everywhere, the man’s arm draped protectively around his wife’s shoulders as they share a Bible, worshipping the Lord together. And once again, I was alone while my husband sat at home.
Going to church by yourself is one of the loneliest feelings a married woman can experience, and it seems to be happening more and more these days. Out of the ten to twenty women who attend my Sunday school class, more than half of them attend church alone.
So what can a woman do to bring her husband back into the fold?
First and foremost, don’t nag. Those first few years Danny refused to go to church, I made the mistake of bugging him constantly about it. I did everything I could think of to get him in the pew next to me. I cajoled and begged, cried and screamed. One Sunday, I was so frustrated that I actually stomped my foot, pointed to the car, and told him to get in! And guess what?
It didn’t work.
The truth is I thought I could change my husband’s behavior, but all my nagging did was make both of us miserable. I had to realize I didn’t have the power to make Danny go to church. Only God can convict him to change his attitude. It got me thinking about 1 Peter 3:1. Was Peter right? Could I win my husband over by my actions? The next section gave me pause–Danny could be won over by my ‘respectful and pure conduct.’
Whoa! If anything, my conduct had pushed him away! That meant I had to work on myself. First, I had to turn over my husband’s spiritual well-being to God. That can be difficult after years of frustration and concern but I tried. Then I simply prayed–sometimes hourly–for the Lord to reach my husband’s heart and draw him closer.
My desire to see Danny growing in his relationship with God didn’t surprise the Lord, yet He knew what I didn’t–that the process would lead to my own growth and open my heart to be more vulnerable to Him.
Two years ago, Danny started back to church. Since then, I’ve seen him grow in his relationship with the Lord. We share our thoughts on scripture we’ve both read and pray together, and it’s brought us closer as a couple. Just the other night, he asked me how I needed him to pray for me.
How truly blessed I am!
